“You taught me how to love.”

Pensive.

I think about life a lot. I think about God.

Going abroad has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. I think everyone needs to, at some point in their lives, get outside of the US. It opens your eyes to so much… It’s hard to believe that there’s more to life than Jersey Shore and McDonalds, isn’t it? Ha. Honestly, though. Before I left the states, I had no idea how different life can be just across the ocean. I’d try to describe it to you, but I know that people had described it to me before I left, and I just didn’t get it. I thought, “Aw yeah! Siesta!” Haha. But really, there’s so much more… You’d have to experience it for yourself.

A most complicating combination is going abroad as a girl who struggles to be herself. I want to experience the culture here, and try new things, new styles, new ways of life… but it’s hard to see the line between experiencing a culture, and being who you are. Especially when you’re not really sure who you are.

I recently went to Portugal with the ISA program. While a giant group of people went to watch Hunger Games one night, a few of my girls and I chose to watch Titanic. (Soooo goooodaah….) But it’s crazy to think about…that really happened. I also recently watched a documentary on the tsunami that hit Indonesia and Sri Lanka in 2004. And I’ve been reading “Night,” by Elie Weisel. It’s about the Holocaust. That seriously happened…and 9-11. That happened too. I guess just things I never really thought about before have kind of hit me in the face. Those things really happened.

My family is going through a rough time right now. My uncle has passed away. I am not ready to leave Spain by any means, but I wish I could be home with them. It’s not fair to lose someone so great, so young, with so much to live for. I don’t understand it at all. But I’m fighting to hold on to my faith. Job went through a lot of things that he really didn’t deserve. That’s hard to understand, but…God tests our faith in him. We just have to hold on until we pass the test.

I always thought “Everything I Own” was a fun song about romantic love. (The first versions I heard were by N*Sync and Vanessa Hudgens…bear with me. Haha.)

It’s not. It’s about losing someone you’ve taken for granted. You guys…things like tsunamis and death really happen. Your life and the life of the ones you love…could be gone in an instant. Don’t take life for granted. Love well, and love now.

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2 thoughts on ““You taught me how to love.”

  1. Alexzandria, I am always more and more amazed by you. I am so proud of you and who you are now, and who you will be. It has been such an awesome experience to be able to see where you came from and where you are surely headed. I love you. You are beautiful.
    Momma

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